Christmas List

Okay so I know it's a little late for a christmas list. Well, I mean some people do shop at the last minute (like me) but it's not so much a list as an......inventory.

So, I'm a girl, you know the basics. I like clothes- cute, colorful and/or not, fitting, etc. And I like shoes- heels, colorful and/or not. Of course makeup- funky. And other girlie things like that. I'm really wanting some nail polish- colors being: lime green, plum purple, black, ballet slipper pink, neon yellow!

But then I get stuck. I know there are other things I want. But they aren't realistic at all. For instance, I want full dark room equipment, an SLR camera, a camcorder, a room full of fabrics of all different kinds, I could go on and on....

Then of course I'm a big fan of music and movies. I like board games and books and, well everything really.

And a lot of this stuff you could hear anybody say, nothing really special or unique or anything about what I want. Cuz that's the thing, I don't really know what I want, what I REALLY REALLY want. (Ok hold on that was supposed to sound deep but now it just looks like I'm quoting the spice girls). So basically what I'm saying that right now I would be pleased with anything because I'm not really pining for anything in particular. And I trust the people who feel like they need to give me presents to pick something good and right for me.

What I really need is the Mirror of Erised.....

long time

Wow. So I feel bad because I haven't written a post in like a month, almost. Huh.

Basically all that's gone on is I was in Seussical: The Musical. It was pretty fun, I was a Who, and I also got to choreograph a dance. But other than that it wasn't that exciting. Kids are very.....ignorant. But I'm not going to complain this whole time.

I also wrote two songs, with a friend who plays guitar; and I have one that is just lyrics at the time. Of course I've written some more poems in the time that has passed between these posts. But seriously other than that nothing has happened.

IT'S GETTING CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS AND I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! :)

Poems

So these are about half (the better half) of some poems I've written lately. Lately meaning in the last 2 months. I would love critiques, advice, and of course PRAISES!!!



Ode To Secrecy



How you don't even know

All day

All I think about

It's you



How you never will know

When you're here

When you're near

My stomach churns



H0w you don't want to know

My dreams

My thinks

My smiles



Secrets



Imperfections



We notice them about ourselves

They occupy our mind

Taking up time

Thinking about them

Worrying about them



But do other people notice them?



Very rarely



When they do

Well

Thats when we feel the worst

And our self-esteem

Tumbles



But I won't take it

All the judgement

All the negativity



There is so much more beyond this

Where you learn to not let other,

Ignorant people

Who don't, and don't want to, know you

To not let them see you as weak

To not let them trample your happiness



Because I am fearless

And yeah that's just a face

But then again

So are you



After All



What does it matter if we fail

We're all gonna die anyway



Some say we should plan

And practice

And do well

So we can do well in the future



But others say

Live in the now

Do what you want

Don't think too hard on it



But what do I say



I agree with both

And I question both



When you get older

If you did well in earlier schools

Then you'd be happy

And comfortable

And ready to die

Fulfilled



But if you just do

Do the oppurtunities

And don't worry about what will come later

Then you'd be happy in the present



Cuz after all

You could die tomorrow



What if? If only.



What if we said what was on our mind?

Every time



The truth would be out

For better or worse



We may find out thoughts

We never wanted to know



We may hear things we knew

But never wanted to admit



What if we voiced our thoughts?

And never thought twice



We could lose love

Or gain grudges



But we could clear the air

And learn from our mistakes



If only we did let loose

Speak our mind



If everybody did then maybe

Just maybe

We wouldn't shun one person doing it



And we wouldn't have to apologize

For things we "didn't mean"



What if?

If only.



Scared



I'm scared

I'm scared to bring a child into this world

Knowing the bad influence of the media

And how the earth could diminish very soon

All this happening

Right before our eyes

Nothing being done

I'm scared



I'm scared

I'm scared of changing too much over time

I have morals, limits, beliefs

And teaching that to a child is

Special

Hard

Important

I'm scared



I'm scared

I'm scared to care too much or not care enough

Thinking absolutes is tiresome

And I have no way out

Trying everything

Knowing nothing

Wanting something

I'm scared



Love and Death



Love

and

Death



That's what it's all about



The words

The world



Love

Is Everything



If you Love something

You want it

If you hate something

You want it

But you won't admit it



Love is the base

The motivation of all our actions



The reason

The explanation



Love



Death



Death is the main fear



Death of ourselves

Death of our possessions

Death of Love



Yet Death is birth



Fear of the unknown

Of what comes next

So we spend our whole life waiting

For Love

And for Death



Words, Letters



They are not for anybody else

They are for me



I write it

I control it

I live it



Words

Letters

All strung together to portray emotion



You say

Earth, wind, fire, and water

The four primary substances



I say

Love, remorse, thought, and music

The four primary non-substances

We can't hold them, touch them

They are immeasurable

And they are the base of all existence



Merely A Fantasy



It's not

It's not a romantic love

Or a friendship love

Or a love that can be explained



It's just unchanging

It's there

And it will never go away



Just like light

Color

Sound



I lay in bed

And no matter how long I think

How hard I believe

That you are here

Where I can touch you

Where I can kiss you



The sound of the cars outside my window

Reminds me that you aren't



You're not here

Not here

Here



Here where one dream

Changes an ordinary day

Into an agony of waiting

Just one imaginary kiss

Brings me back to a world without you



I push you to the center of my mind

For hours at a time



But the fact that you don't know

Pushes you out again



I'm forever hearing a constant battle in my head

One side saying

No one can love this much

And never have it returned



But the other

Logical side

Replays the encounters we had

More than once

Where I was left alone

And you walked away knowing

Knowing my feelings

Though not the extremity of depth

And still

Evertime

Rejection was the answer



So now

I'm waiting

I'm wanting

I'm loving



I'll never stop loving

It's unchangable

Unbreakable



Even if it is merely a fantasy

Situation

So, I'm in a bit of a pickle, or dillema, or predicament, whatever you want to call it....

You remember hot guy and cute guy right? Hot guy is the one I live near, and cute guy is the one that rides my bus. Well I like both of them so much, and I just find it very agonizing. And can I just point out: GUYS IN CANADA DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLIRT!!! Seriously, like they'll talk to you, but I think they just aren't capable of it! Anyway cute guy and I like a lot of the same music and we spent a whole day together last weekend walking around downtown. But hot guy is so hot, and we like a lot of the same movies, and it is really easy to talk to him. So I don't know who I like more. That's the problem, by the way. And Plug says I don't really have to chose at this point but, I mean, for my sanity it'd probably be better if I did. Basically I don't know. I don't know who I like more, especially because I can see myself with both of them...ugh.

things I miss dearly

Lately, of course I've been missing U-town, and everybody in it. But there are specific things, things that just get forgotten or left behind. Here are a few:

1. Going to a football game, getting all ready to toss a flag in the air for the rest of the night, and dancing to "Hey Baby" in the stands!!!!

2. Watching Veggie Tales in the church nursery! Tonight we all sang very memorable 'silly songs with Larry' at dinner. Ahhh.....good times.

3. Going to looooong and boooooring drama meetings and listening to Chew talk about the same things over and over and over again.

4. Being able to walk everywhere. I would walk to friends' houses in the morning, then walk to the union or eat something for lunch on green street. Then walk back and hang in the park for awhile. Maybe even walk down to lincoln square and.......shop?

5. Downtown shampoo, the street that, during Christmas, the street lamps would have the fake branches on it, making a candle or snowflake, or something pretty and festive!!!

Guys

So, let's just get this straight for all of you that are confused:

Hot guy is the hot one that I love talking to but I really can't tell if there's anything between us, like I don't know when or if he's flirting.

Cute guy is the cute one that I've never talked to and kind of am just putting off!

Nice guy is now just guy, cuz he's still nice, but there's no real attraction anymore.

Enter pretty eye guy. He has pretty eyes. Kind of like mine if you're wondering. But he is super duper nice, and funny. And cute, and we're hanging out this weekend so that will be very exciting!

Not a spectacular post, but an informative one....LOVE!

very werid day

Ok, well I got up at 7:39, when I am actually supposed to get up at 7. So from the first minute I was being rushed and disoriented. Plus, I painfully awoke to cramps, and...well, you know how those go.

So then I'm at the bus stop, and the hot guy isn't there. Damn. On the bus the cute guy doesn't get on so I'm just completely let down. By the way, hot guy and cute guy are two different guys. Just to clear that up.

All my classes seem to drag on but somehow I find myself on the bus home again. Lunch was fun, me and a couple of friends were in the cafeteria at first, then realized it was a pretty nice day, and joined a big group of cool people outside. In this group was cute guy, the one who stood up the bus this moring. Oh well, once again he doesn't notice me.

But on the walk from the bus stop to our across-the-street houses, me and hot guy have a cute little conversation about our days (okay, more about his day) and, perhaps it was just me, but he was a little flirty. He didn't just smile a bunch, he stuttered a bit at one point too. Well, maybe it was my imagination, but I think I'm making progress.

Not a beautiful story, but just a little taste of how boring my days go over here.

P.S.- I have AND wear a shirt that a geek was wearing on Beauty and the Geek! LOVE that show!

This is actually the shirt. I can't believe I found in on Google. It is a bunch of stars and the whole astronomy thing, and the letters say "heavenly bodies". I think it's kind of cute.....no?

Three Wishes

I literally have nothing else to post about...

You know the old story of a genie with three wishes? Well, I think about wishes a lot, and to only have three would be a real bummer. But to have any would be kind of cool. And three does make people think about what really matters to them. So here are mine:

1.) I don't know if this means it's the most important, but I would have to say to grow up to be a successful movie/theatre actress and director. Now, success isn't measured in how famous you are or how much money you have. To me, it's measured in how happy I am. So, being successful later will mean that I shall get to work with very talented people. These including, but not limited to, Johnny Depp, Ewan McGregor, Idina Menzel, Drew Barrymoore, and like such as.

2.) If this is second most important, I would have to say finding the love of my life (aka: Daniel Radcliffe) and having a nice home and family with him. Hopefully that means somewhere in Australia, with one beautiful daughter, and HUGE yacht!!!

3.) This wish is very very important to me, even though it is the least out of three. My last wish would be to be very flexible, like a trained, professional ballerina. Where I could lift my leg exactly vertical, without any strain. This might also include being able to do a little pointe, as I have always wanted to do that. But it would have to be a special, magical shoe that didn't hurt my toes!!!

And there you have it.

an off day

Okay so yesterday I registered for my classes and let me tell you right now that it took for fricking ever. But here are my classes if you are wondering:

Semester one-A: Drama 10

B: History IB prep

C: French 10

D: Math IB prep

Semester two-

A: Dance 11

B: English IB prep

C: Science IB prep

D: CLM/PAL

Okay now I have to explain it. IB prep is like AP classes, they are a little harder and faster paced. But they are preparing me for the International Baccalaureate (pronounce back-ah-lori-it) program. It's this big long thing that I'll explain later. Anyway it has like a couple of big long essays and it's for smart people. It doesn't start til 11th grade, hence the prep classes. So those I'm trying out to see if I can handle it. Okay CLM stands for Career and Life Management, so you know, blah. And PAL stands for Physically Active Lifestyles which is like my p.e. for the rest of high school. So both of those two classes are six weeks long, or like a quarter, and then I'm done with p.e. forever!!!! Oh, and if you don't get why I have four classes a day then make a comment about it cause I'm pretty sure I've told a lot of people about how it works. And I also have a really cool guidance counselor/dean person, he is so funny and young and kind of a rebel! He's also an american.

Anyway, that wasn't even the offness of the day. At lunch we went to an outside diner sort of thingy, and the wind blew hard and my dad got ketchup spilled on his pant leg, and both my sister and me got root beer spilled on the side of our leg, so it seeped onto our butts. Man it was so annoying. And when I woke up that morning, as I was doing my make-up, I got a bloody nose. Then, when we were sitting in line (in really comfy chairs too) to get me registered, I got a bloody nose. Then, when we were at home, I got a bloody nose. Then right before dinner I got a bloody nose. So, if you haven't figured it out, I had four, yes, FOUR bloody noses yesterday, over the whole day!!! That is so annoying. I also had two long, very painful cases of the hiccups in the evening, so it wasn't fun. Basically yesterday I was really stressed or something and it did not go well!!!

Old School

So yall remember MASH? Like in 5th grade when you would do that list thing to map out your future...

Well, I had the urge to do it tonight. I really haven't done it in like 5 years but it was really satisfying. So here's how I'm gonna turn out:

I'm going to MARRY DANIEL RADCLIFFE.(Course I already knew that!) I'm going to be wearing a STRAPLESS DRESS. We'll go to our HONEYMOON in PARIS. Together we shall have 1 GIRL and 1 DOG. I will be a DIRECTOR and make 100,000 a year. He will be a WRITER and make 300,000 a year. We will live in DALLAS, TX in a MANSION. And then I'll die at the age of 85.

So there you have it. Of course I put all good things for each thing and now it turned out awesome. Well except for the dying part but you know that's inevidable. Just thought I would share some of the things I'm doing cooped up in the house. And a bit of the old days...

10 things that piss me off

1.) When people interupt me reading. I mean, I'm a slow reader anyway, and when people interupt me just to ask stupid questions, I read even slower.

2.) When sneezes don't come out. I like sneezes, they are very refreshing, and when you think you have one but it just taunts you and you make weird faces then it's not cool.

3.) When people say "Huh?" right in the middle of me talking, before I finish. I mean they should be listening, and if they have to have me repeat the first part, they should say it nicer.

4.) When people bring up something and then refuse to talk about it. I mean I do that, but still.

5.) When you've tried everything you can to go to sleep but you're still wide awake at 4 am.

6.) When hiccups hurt real bad, and you have them 5 times a day!! Mine ALWAYS hurt!

7.) When people don't have opinions of their own they just copy what do or say.

8.) When you know the name of someone/something and you can't think of it! I am so OCD and this really bugs me.

9.) When people will never engage in, and always avoid, a serious/deep conversation about beliefs or emotions or death, or anything really.

10.) When you have way more than ten things on a list but you don't want to make it bigger cuz 10 is such a nice round number so you really have like 16.

Haircut

Sorry if all my posts are getting annoying, but I have to make up for all the ones I missed during the move.

But anyway I got a hair cut today. And I will put up a picture where you can't really see my eyes. Anyway, these are the reactions I got.... Dad: I...like....it. It just kind of reminds me of Ashlee Simpson and I don't really like her personality so...eh. Mom: Oooh. Look at you. I like it! It looks very up-to-date and good! Easel: Uh. You stole my idea. I wanted side bangs! Sandbox: (half an hour later) Oh. You got a haircut.

Well, I like it. A lot.

summer reading

So the thing I love most about summer is reading. I have so much time to do it and that makes me want to do it more. Of course I've already read Harry Potter 7 and I finished it in 4 days. And in the past three days I've been on a roll. All I do is lay in bed all day, and read!! The night before last I finished a book, then picked up another I was 200 pages into from a couple weeks ago. I finished that the next day, yesterday, and started a new one, only getting one chapter in. Then today I got three-quarters of the way in. I also went to the library (one of the few things I've done here is get a library card, which is actually kind of nice because there are 12 different libraries!!) and got two more pretty thick books. I can't wait to sit around all day and read them!! You gotta admit, sitting around on your ass all day reading is better than sitting around watching tv. Even if I'm not getting any exercise, or... going outside at all. Well, I did go to the library to get more books to sit around more to read more and start the process all over again.

I also made a mental list of all the things that I'm looking forward to in chronalagical order. Today I was looking forward to going to the library, I'm super cool I know, no need to tell me. For this week I'm looking forward to my friends coming to visit, it's gonna be a blast. This month I'm looking forward to moving into my new house and meeting people my age here, finally!!! After that I'm looking forward to going down in December and seeing all the love of my life's!!! After that, well basically my life has no purpose. Just kidding, I'll be looking forward to going down for the musical.... see, I'm not a loser. And the list goes on.......

Lists

I am one of those weird people that makes lists. A lot. Like last night when my head was a blur and I was overwhelmed because I don't even know why (Probably because of a certain book that's causing a lot of fuss and coming out tomorrow!!) Anyway, I have been without my two fashion magazines for a very long time, almost three months, and I was in desperate need of them. So I went to the bookstore and got them. And it's weird, when I read magazines, even though I love them, I get really mad. It's like they make you question your fashion sense/style. Or things you do, how to make them better, or worse. Well, I have been thinking a lot about my fashion style for some time and I needed to make lists to organize my mind!! You may think this post is insignificant and shallow, but you are wrong...

Reading List: (in no particular order)

Pigman~ Paul Zindel

Harry Potter 7~ J. K. Rowling

Save Karyn~ Karyn Bosnak

Wicked~ Gregory Macguire

Heart of Glass~ Zoey Dean

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 4~ Anne Brascheres

M or F~ Anthony Burgess

Peach Girl series~ Miwa Ueda

other random books



Back To School List:

glasses-cute, no-rimmed, square-ish

hair cut- layers, bangs tapering

subscription to Cosmogirl + 17

jeans- at least 2 pairs, dark, light, with pocket designs

nail polish- dark purple, lime green, neon yellow, ballet slipper pink

eyeliner-black pencil, black liquid

blush-dark brown shadowing thing

t-shirts- vintage short sleeve, long sleeve solid colors

sneakers- vans and/or chucks

heels-mary-janes

boots-flat, brown

books-LOTS, previously named

dv camcorder

iPod-30 gig, video, black



Broadway Soundtracks List:

Aida

Ragtime

Miss Saigon

Tick, Tick....Boom!

Seussical

Batboy

Legally Blonde: The Musical

25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Spamalot

Jekyll and Hyde

See What I Wanna See

The Drowsy Chaperone

Cabaret

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Company

The Light in the Piazza

Les Miserables



To Do List:

blog

catch up with journal

read!!!!

start making plan for saving money for video camera/iPod/plane tickets

And that's my life.....

movie idea

So I've thought of one. And I have to warn you, before you read on, it's...diffferent. But anyway, it starts off like a chick flick, guy meets girl in the park, flirting and they eventually go out and fall in love. Then: he dies! But not just the traditional car-crash-teen-death, but something new. You never hear of a guy being anorexic, so I think that is the way to go. So, after the death, the girlfriend falls in love with his sister.THE END. I know what you're thinking: that's cruel, they were in love and he just died, but it's a movie and it's different and those are all of my reasons to keep it and I like it SO THERE!!!But seriously tell me what you think...

Dreams

So, yeah, I really have nothing else to write about except that I have had some kooky dreams lately. At first I was having really scary ones all in a row. Like in one these creepy people were gonna take me and the twins to some place and...do "Michael Jackson" things to us. And in another one this crazy rich lady was trying to lock me in her stained-glass garage. The last one I actually killed a guy by stabbing him in the arm with a pencil. But this most recent one is still a little weird but kind of nice. See, I fell in love with this blind guy, and his face was kind of contorted, but he was a sweetheart. But the thing was he was diabetic, which for some reason meant I couldn't kiss him; it also meant he ate A LOT of peanuts. Anyway we spent all of our time together and I told him I loved him, he opened his eyes (meaning he wasn't blind anymore) and he turned into Polio...

Good one, I know.

I also just have to say I cried for the first time since Plug left the other day, I was walking in the rain and I felt myself REALLY missing her... I love you!!!

new things

So I've been really bored lately seeing as how three of my best friends are out of town and all the other ones are extremely busy. And in these times of nothing to do I thought of a fantasticly teenager-y thing to do: write music! Right now I have two finished songs in writing, that also have tunes on the guitar which I taught myself how to play this week. And I have a bunch of other songs in the process of writing. I am looking forward to putting them all together on the computer with some special program my dad has and hopefully it is going to be very cool and different!!

Another thing I've been talking to my dad about is making movies. I mean of course I want to act, but I also want to direct. And to do this I am thinking of going to film school. So my dad and I were talking about how I have to write a movie and then shoot it and edit it and all that crap... well first of all I don't even have a video camera, so I'll need to save up for that. And I am having soooooooo much trouble thinking of good movie ideas. I mean, it's really hard, I have a couple of just buds of ideas but none that are good plots. I need good ideas, and serious ones!.......

Weird Habits

Do you have any really weird habits that you've never really thought about.Or just not noticed until recently (like when I just mentioned).Here are some of mine:

1. I talk to my cat about my problems acting like they're his. example-"Sherlock you are going to be fine when we move, seriously, you'll make other kitty friends and have lots of fun!"

2. When I'm in my house, I don't like to close the door to the bathroom all the way.When I'm home alone I don't like to close it at all...

3. I can't go to sleep without at least one body part covered with a blanket/sheet.I also can't go to sleep with my whole body covered there has to be at least one body part exposed, and not including my head.

4. I never call people.I know it's bad, but unless someone says specifically to call them I won't; and even if they do I still sometimes forget, unless it's for something I absolutely CAN'T forget.

So, that's all I can think of right now, tell me yours...

electronic trouble

It was the middle of March, and I was using my camera all the time!And my friend had found an iPod in one of the bathrooms at school, and no one had come and claimed it, so she gave it to me.And then out of nowhere, my camera breaks.I tried to turn it on and it beeped at me, then nothing happened.I can't remeber if it was in the same day but it was at least in the same week, that my iPod broke.I was babysitting for the elementary school's PTA meeting and one of the other babysitters picked up my coat to throw it on another chair, and it fell out of the pocket.The screen cracked and I was soooo pissed.Now, I don't believe in bad luck or anything but it was an awful big coincidence that it happened in the same week.

Then, last night I was trying to post about my summer, when I would hit "publish" it said what it says when it publishes successfully.So I went to go see it and it didn't show up.I was so confused so I tried going back and hit "publish" again. This time it said something like cannot edit html, I don't even know.So I go back to my blog and do the search for the word summer.Sure enough it shows up, just as I had done it.But it still wasn't showing up on the blog archive or anything.It was like it was hidden.Anyway I did a couple of test posts to see if they showed up, and of course they did not.I just gave up and left.

So this morning I come on the computer and all four of the posts from last night are on there like nothing happened.(I know it is just a computer but it makes me so mad)!!!After that I deleted the ones I didn't need and then made this post.And I got to thinking, the first post I was trying to do last night was my 13th.....but again, I am not superstitious!

Summer

My friends are always so pumped about summer, saying that's all they look forward too, and blah blah blah...But I've always found summer to be very lonely.Maybe it's cuz I'm a loner and I don't actually do anything except for eat Ramen at home with the twins playing Sims.And it's not just this year I feel lonely, you know, cuz Plug's gone, even though that does SUCK!Anyway, lately I've been doing pretty good with the whole summer break thing, I mean it's only been a week but I've covered almost all of my best friends!Truthfully (if it was any other summer,I guess) all I want is to be occupied with school, because as much as I hate doing stuff, I hate not doing stuff more.And at school I can see all of my friends without even making an effort!!

what's all the fuss about?

So, I saw Pirates of the Carribean 3 last night and I have to ask---what's all the fuss about? I've heard so much bad stuff about it that I just can't agree on.Yes, I may be just another teenager that you don't want to listen to but, seriously it's just a movie.Okay, it may be a little long, but if you're with the right people, as I was, that doesn't matter.And it's funny.Nobody can deny that it's funny.And I'm not just talking one part was a little silly, I mean the whole thing was a hoot.Again, maybe you just have to be with the right people.And, I have to say it, any movie with the greek god Johnny in it can't be all that bad.ESPECIALLY when there's like 50 of him at once!!!But, apart from all that, the fact that it is a 3rd movie still pisses me off.It's like nobody can think of new ideas for movies anymore; they're either making hella sequals to movies already made or they're just gonna go and remake movies already made!As an aspiring director and already professional acress I am very passionate about this.Oh, and one teensy little thing that bugs me about it is the ending, for those of you who haven't seen it yet, do NOT read on...the ending is like, back to the beginning of the "series", no resolution really.Whatever I guess I can live with a movie not being just another happy ending!

Blah

Alright, so I want to know what you guys think of my photography. These aren't even the best of them they are just kind of whatever I could throw together. The first one falls into the category of noun-people-well,animal:





This next one is in the category of noun-thing:






And the last, I think you can guess is noun-place:






What do you think? Please put in your inputs...

oh my goodness

I can't believe how long it's been since I've written on this! I guess I'll go over everything that's happened...

I left off with the musical. That went amazing, the upperclassmen/directors said this was the best opening night in a LONG time! And all the other nights were spectacular in their own way. The night before closing, they presented the "gypsy jacket". This is a theatre tradition that recognizes a member of the dancers who is a good leader and everybody hugs them for good luck. Yes, I got it, it was really awesome. Closing night was very emotional afterward, every person was crying because the seniors said their speeches, and all the people who were moving,too. By the end I had no tears left, but I was still crying, so I was just kind of shaking and hicupping...

Since that I've been in a weird mood, kind of mellow, sad but happy, I can't really explain it. I miss drama like no other, I mean that's my life. After strike, I went home, then was excrutiatingly lonely so I went back, just to say goodbye to the greenroom and whatnot.

But now school's ending, the seniors are done. EVERYBODY is having graduation party's so I'm a busy party-girl. I'm so sad but I haven't really said goodbye to anybody yet because I just know I'm going to see them before I leave. I guess I should treat every second like it's my last with them...But that's true all the time. People can die at any time, so we should always be loving and living!! Sorry to become so depressing...

And now, sorry mom, it seems that I'm about to leave and all the guys want me. But not to have an actual relationship, because they don't want to have to have a time limit on it due to me moving out of the country, but maybe just to 'hang out' for a little. And honestly I don't know what to do about it. One of them I have liked all year but has had a girlfriend and is suddenly interested. One is just a really attractive, funny guy. One is a hot italian senior, who is very interested but always forgets to call. Whatever, my plan is to take it one day at a time. Right now I have a date scheduled for tomorrow with the hot italian, and guess what we're going to do... eat italian food!!Wish me luck!

Prom

So, I know it has taken me a long time to write this but I have been really busy with the show.

Any way,Prom:

At two I went to my hair appointment, and it looked awesome.The curls were tight and I looked like a cute lion.Before that I had gotten my butineer (?) and it looked really good.When my mom had ordered it she said "funky, not red" (because I was wearing black and a red rose is so cliche). Any way the flower was a yellowish-green, with little purple flowers around it, and a metal twirly thing attached.

Then I went to my friend's house to get ready. We blasted the movie soundtrack of Chicago, and talked about our dates (in a good way).We were both really bummed that we didn't have gartars, so we borrowed some from her sister's room, and put them on just for a few pictures.When it was time to go upstairs for actual pictures I was really nervous for some reason.But our guys looked great and we took some fun photos.

After that we hopped in my dates car, and went to Biaggi's for dinner.This is a really nice italian resturant, and of course it was packed with other prom-goers.I didn't get a lot, because I wasn't that hungry, and because my dress was very form-fitting (didn't want no pooch).But I got a salad, a virgin pina colada, and the appetizer bread.

On the way to the dance, we almost hit a possum.Now that's romantic.But we got there okay, and everybody looked spectacular.They had free cookies and things, but the actual "dance-floor" was miniscule.But whatever, I danced, had a good time.Of course I danced with my date the most. And my best friend. But we aren't actually dating, so I was free to dance with other people too.

After that we went back to my friends house, where we took the pictures, and we changed to go to post-prom. But we had some time to kill, so we layed down on the fouton and all cuddled! When we got there I saw some people that weren't at the dance and I showed them some HOT pictures. There were the inflatable games and stuff, so I did the obstacle-course one and got my elbows scraped up real bad!But it didn't matter because it was all too fun.

Then, since I had the coolest date ever, we watched him and some other people play in their jazz band. And guess what? We DANCED!! I fell over a couple times, ok a lot, but it was much better than the prom dancing. One, because it was real music, not some too-much-bass-unintelligable-lyrics-rap-"music"!! And because we knew the people playing. Of course their weren't buttload of people there, so that helped.

The next part is the best. I would like to challenge all you readers to think of a more spontaneous, romantic thing to do after prom! My two friends and I blindfolded our dates, and drove them to a hill. We set up a bunch of blankets, plates and some candles. Then we got out the food for our picnic and spread it out.(This is 5 o clock in the morning by the way)We unblindfolded the guys and ate our breakfast, then had a big long cuddly nap, outside in the freezing cold, watching the sunrise.
Perfect.

We actually got too cold at around 7, plus we weren't really supposed to be there anyway, so we went back to the house. There, we fell into a very satisfying 3-hour sleep, all spooning one another.Tee hee.

But I got home at 10-ish and slept there until 3.It was amazing. Prom is not overrated, at least not the one I had, and I (along with my best friend who went) am only a freshman, so I have atleast two more to go.....

hmmm....

My pirate name is:

Mad Ethel Cash

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!

Footloose

Our high school drama director has decided on Footloose as our spring musical. I am very glad he has chosen this, but mostly I am glad he has chosen one at all. See, he is walrus look-alike, that is about 60-something years old, and he is the most unorganized, slow, indecisive person ever. It took him 3+ weeks to decide on a show, then 4 days to get through auditions, and another week and a half to get the cast list up. Then, we didn't start actual rehearsals for another week+!

But apart from that, I am really happy with the show, most of the cast list, and pretty much everything in between. Oh, did I mention the show goes up in less than a month and our first rehearsal was yesterday?

Um, if you are totally deprived and don't know anything about musical theatre at all, Footloose is about dancing... (and my part is 2 out of the three dance groups, awesome dances!)

So, our first rehearsal was yesterday, the all cast vocal part was from 3:30 to 5:30, and the dancing group that I'm in's rehearsal was from 6:30 to 9. Man am I tired. By the end of the dancing I had almost lost my voice, every muscle in my legs were/are permanently flexed, I had huge scratches on my arm, my stomach was churning, my head was weightless and spinning, and I couldn't get the Footloose song out of my head. (Been working, so hard. I'm punching, my card. Eight hours, for what? Oh tell me what I got. I got this feeling that time is holding me down. I'll hit the ceiling or else I'll tear up this town. Tonight I gotta cut loose, footloose, kick of my Sunday shoes. Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees. Jack get back. Come on before we crack. Lose your blues, everybody cut footloose!) Yeah, last night was the first time I had heard the whole song and now I have it all memorized...

So, not to spoil it for those who are going to see it, but I have to tell you the super scary stunt I have to do. Luckily, my partner for it, and the whole dance, is the person I trust the most, and am most comfortable around: someone I have dated before and now are best friends. So, the stunt is a running start, holding on to one arm flip, with my legs straight up in the air! Unluckily, he has had an accident doing this exact same flip with someone much smaller. And I had to do it, like, fifty times last night (surprisingly no exaggeration there) and fell/missed a couple of times, and freaked the hell out of my partner. Oh and another thing, this is going to be done with another couple, and we are running/flipping toward eachother..... I hate roller-coasters!

But other than that the dance is totally cool and fun. Not that that isn't cool or fun, it's just SCARY! The dance is pretty ronchy and sexual, so awesome! I love the choreagrapher, she is young and really funny. A really good dancer, even though she isn't built like a dancer, and SO fun. Really easy going, but knows how to work, teach, and boogie down!!!

Basically I am really pumped! Especially because it is set in the 80's so we are going to have big hair, TIGHT leather pants, and everything and anything in between. Not to mention that that dance is only part of one scene, and it is making me SO happy!!

Oh, and I am most likely joining the pitiful JV soccer team, because they don't even have enough players to fill the field, not to mention subs. Suddenly, I am unbelievably busy.....

old poems

These are old poems that I wrote a while ago, and I have some more I just can't find them right now. But there will be here in the future...

The first one I wrote around Christmas time, and it's kind of inspired by Love Actually:


CHRISTMAS IS

Christmas is a time when you tell the ones you love just how much you love them
Christmas is a time when you tell everybody the truth
Christmas is a time when you live your life to the fullest
Christmas is a happy time

Christmas is a time when the things you don't have seem that much bigger
Christmas is time when, if you're alone, you feel dead
Christmas is a time that only comes once a year, waiting
Christmas is a sad time

Christmas is coming, so I'm telling you I love you
Christmas is coming and I'm telling you the truth
Christmas is coming and I'm trying to live, to risk...

Christmas is here and I don't have you
Christmas is here and I am alone
Christmas is here and I'm still waiting
For you...


And the next one; the beginning came to me in the bathroom:


THE OTHER GENDER

Doesn't it just suck to be a guy
To look around and wonder why
Your breasts aren't perfectly formed
Your hips aren't perfectly warmed
By low-rise jeans

Isn't it just ass to be a dude
To deal with everyone being rude
When you aren't totally obsessed with sports
And don't shout stupid "manly" retorts
To someone who is different

Can you stand being a male
Never checking the bathroom scale
Never flushing or closing the seat
Standing up to pee or eat
Goal being: macho

How can you deal with being a man
With looking around and trying to scan
A woman you would "bang"
In your perverted way DANG
It must suck to be you

Sherlock

My cat is named Sherlock. We named him that because when he was small he looked in the mirror, and for some reason we thought he was really smart for doing that, so we named him after a really smart person. Back then, he was tiny. Now, he is "a dog, trapped in a cat suit that is too big for him"! When he walks his belly fat, which is really just a huge sack of skin, is about an inch from the floor. And his head is way too small for his body, but his cheeks push on his eyes, so he always looks like he is scowling.

But being fat isn't just what makes him cute, this tabby has got personality. He looks at you with his scowl and you know he is thinking 'could you get any stupider?'. Or, when he isn't facing you, and you say something to him, he won't bother turning his head to hear you, or look at you, he'll just rotate his ears.

He is also really good at telling you what he wants. When is hungry he has a meow that sort of sounds like a bird chirp, like 'bbrrrrrpp'! Then he'll race you up the stairs, and jump on the food tin. When he wants water, he'll either follow you into the bathroom, then lay in the sink/tub. Or, he'll go to the dining room table and, ever so smoothly, right when you're looking, knock over a glass of water. It pisses you off, but gets the point across. When he wants to be petted, if you are standing up he will rub up against your leg, back and forth. If you are sitting down, he'll go right under your hand, or just sit right on your chest, stare you in the face, and meow.... sometimes he'll even lick your hand.

Some stuff he likes to do is lay in, on, or under cardboard/plastic boxes. Like, if we are playing a boardgame on the table, he will come up and lay himself right in the middle, toppling over all of the pieces! Or there will just be some random box and he will be huddled up in the corner of it, nowhere to be found.

There are really cute stories that really make him awesome though. Like when he is in the kitchen, and he gets scared so he pulls out his claws, then he gets very scared, so he tries to run away, but he doesn't get anywhere because his nails are out, so he is basically running in place (like the cartoons where they have to charge up their run and can't go forward!)

Then there's the one where we drag around a laser light on the ground and he chases it thinking it is a bug or something. It lasts forever because he never figures it out that it is just a light, even when he looks up at us and sees us holding the laser. It is especially fun to shine it on the wall and make him jump for it!

We used to have this big cookie-monster floatie. And for some reason whenever Sherlock saw it his eyes would get big, then he'd freeze up, then run all around the house. Now, this was a long time ago, and I regret saying that I used to chase him all around the house, but, it was pretty funny. Maybe he popped it and ripped it up, and that's why we don't have it anymore....

A quick, funny one is that he was lying in this plastic bag one time and somehow got his head stuck in the handle, and ran around trying to get it off-it looked like a cape the whole time.

Some of his nick-names are: tubby tabby, Sher, Sherlie, Lock of the Sher, fat cat, turkey legs, scowlooorrr, and My Baby.

I know I like to make fun of him, but I do love him dearly! It is always nice to, every time we come home, see him waiting at the front door or on the front porch. He is my god of bras, and a kitty of many wonders!*





*These are referencs from some songs I made up when I was bored. The first one goes:

Sherlock
God of bras
Gi-i-i-ive me a new bra

(Cheese Whiz
Goddess of panties
Gi-i-i-ive me no more panties)

And the next one goes like this:

Sherlock is a kitty
A kitty of many wonders
Sherlock is a kitty
He knows how to boogie down

Sherlock is a kitty
A kitty of many wonders
Sherlock is a kitty
He always knows when to meow!

food that goes good together

I don't know about you, but carbs go really well with cheese! Like macaroni and cheese. Grilled cheese. Rice and cheese. Nachos and cheese. Potatos and cheese. All carbs are just amazing with cheese.

Another thing I've noticed is that sweets go really well with salty stuff. French fries dipped in vanilla ice-cream. Chocolate covered pretzels. Chips and m-n-m's. It's all just so good.

I just had to share some fun, random, useless observations about food!

How I Feel

So, those of you who are wondering, this is how I feel about Canada (also, so I don't have to get asked this all of the time!):

When I first heard that we might be moving to Canada, I got really psyched. I thought 'This will be awesome I can start a whole new reputation, have a great place to practice my french, and live in a whole new city. An actual city. With beaches. It'll be such a change, a good change, I love change!'

Then my mom started telling me all about the place and how diverse and artsy it is, all the cool people, places, and things (and ideas, I guess)!!! Nova Scotia, New Scotland, that means hot scottish guys with hot scottish accents.

But whenever I would tell someone that I might be moving (again) they would get really sad, or angry, and wouldn't let me tell them how cool it was. I guess I didn't realize how much my friends would miss me. I guess I didn't realize how much I would miss them.

I'm kind of freaking myself out because I haven't really cried about this yet. I mean I can think about it long and hard but I just can't bring myself to tears. I did listen to the song "Leaving On A Jet Plane" and get a little choked up, but that's it! My very wise friend, Palendrome, said I probably haven't cried yet because I'm not physically saying goodbye to everyone. I know that when I do have to, especially to individuals I've known since pre-school (or dated), I will be bawling my eyes out!!

I am still really looking forward to moving though, my family talks about it all the time so I guess it has sunk in already. Still doesn't feel like three months away though. The crappy part is that we have to list everything we're taking, every little crumb. And that we won't even get to see the house before we move into it. Oh well...

So, to sum up, I'm still excited out of my pants to go, but it will kill me to leave the people here!

about as creative as a brick can get

The first day of Art class, teacher places a brick on the table and says to make a good size list of the many uses of a brick... and be creative!

-emery board -table leg lifter
-paper weight -anchor
-pestle -coaster
-mortar -weapon
-hammer -skillet
-paint palette -sign
-clothes iron -sharpener
-digger -door stop
-pendulum

I labeled my paper 'Creative Brick' and it stuck with me.

Then I started a book about my random trains-of-thoughts, it was called Creative Brick. Some of the chapters were Personality, Door, Water Jugs, Indian Food, and Judging People. There's more where that comes from, and I'll probably just convert it into my blog posts!...